based on true events
By The Way, I Didn’t Forget About You
I’m just building a newer, cooler version of edadkins.com. Very soon, now, very soon…
The Grope-Me Pillow, Found at Overstock
Hey ladies- sad and lonely? Nobody wants to play grab-ass? NO WORRIES!!!
Now you can purchase 1/4 of a man, filled with stuffing & designed specifically to grope you through the night as you sleep.
For added WTFness, just spray the pillow with some cologne your Ex left in your medicine cabinet, or place a wedding ring on it and play the “other woman.”
What kinds of pillows do they make with the other 3/4s?
Thank you, Overstock.com. Until now I thought I had lost the ability to be creeped out.
We Hope To See You Again on Google, You Dirty, Dirty Spammer
I just got one of these messages when looking for orange jumpsuits (don’t ask). Anyone else seen one of these “hey, you search like a spammer!” messages?
The Mostly Unknown History of Valentine’s Day and Why We Need to Party Like That Again
Once you learn the real history of Valentine’s, no party can measure up.
I really don’t do holidays well. I’ve never enjoyed having the timing of my romantic actions dictated by the calendar, nor my gift-giving or my fondness for trees (damn you, Arbor Day!) Warren Ellis, in wishing everyone a happy “Horny Werewolf day,” reminded me that today isn’t JUST another reminder that our every actions are dictated by consumerism pressures from above - it hearkens back to our more primal days. Days that I think are in order of returning.
February wasn’t always all chocolates and apologizing for not buying flowers. No, in the good old days, the holiday we celebrate as Valentine’s used to be reserved for a dude named Lupercus. According to this article about the holiday that started it all (pilfered …
To Paige, on the Occasion of your Third Birthday
You are amazing. At three years old, you’re already showing every sign that you’re becoming exactly the kind of person that I feel grateful knowing- The kind of person who makes you feel like your life means something because they’re around and you got to witness them.
Everything you do, you do it memorably. When you’re excited you sing songs, dance around and get everyone involved. When you’re not, you pretty much do the same thing but much louder and more forcefully. You spend most of your time in a princess dress. You speak dramatically, and you’re so goddamed cute I frequently think I’m going to pass out because I can’t handle it. But as great as those things are, I want you to always hold on to two characteristics. You keep those, and it’s all I really want for …
Doug Stanhope Utilizes Social Media, Rocks Shit out of Zephyr
Thursday night Doug Stanhope hit Reno, But he didn’t play at in some posh casino showroom, he played at the Zephyr Lounge - exactly where I’d want to see him.
I’ve only gone there a few times, but the Zephyr is the seedy kind of bar that I really feel at home at. It’s cramped, there’s old dirty couches at the bar that you really don’t want to examine. They only take cash, but you can hit up the ATM next door by the nudie bookstore. It’s a classy joint.
We all got there about an hour before everything started and pretty much everyone there couldn’t believe we were seeing Stanhope in such a small venue for only $10. That and the full flask of whiskey in my back pocket guaranteed a fantastic …
FeedReader Update
I know I basically lost all my subscribers by, um, not posting for 2 years, but if you happen to still subscribe to EADC, please update the feed address to http://feeds.feedburner.com/edadkins
Thanks!
The Reason I Haven’t Chosen A Side Yet: I’m Still Horribly Uneducated on Them
I’m going to fix that, but for now check out this dude- fucking rocks it explaining why he’s for Obama. The reason I usually shake my head all election year is that you rarely see people basing their allegiance to a candidate or party on actual policy. We all need to be this informed.
I’m totally catching up on what I know about the potential candidates. Seen on tony pierce’s Busblog.
Super (Sober) Sleuth
So, today I’m doing the closest thing I can to the walk of shame.
You know the walk. Back in the dorms in college, at about 7AM on the weekends you’d see a mass exodus of what appeared to be really pretty zombies: chicks with messy hair, a collection of their purse and belongings balled up in their arms, one high heeled shoe still on, limping back to their place while desperately avoiding eye-contact with anyone, lest they explode into a flaming ball of disgrace.
The walk of shame. Now, since I have almost no sense of what one might call “self-respect” or “dignity,” I’m mostly immune to things like that. Think of me as the Darkman of shame- I just don’t have the ability to sense those things.
This is why many times in my life I’ve been “that guy.” That guy …
Anonymous’ Message to the Pastafarians!
When they came for the Scientologists, I was silent- but now it’s serious. If they’ll attack established religions like the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster no one is safe!
If you don’t know what this video is referencing, you’ll want to watch the following:
