Dive into the archives.

• Spam Follow-up

  Dearest Timmy,
  Your mother and I have done all we could, but we now fear that we have been taking the wrong direction in getting you treatment for your cancer. It has been 7 years now, and still our chain emails haven’t been sent to enough people.
  I want you to know that we have never given […]

  Posted on Nov 29.04 to Potpourri   

• Finding Neverland

  Dudes, looking for a quick & easy shortcut to looking like a total fruit? Go see Finding Neverland. Serious. I cried all my mascara off. All of it. Like I told Shugs, it’s not that it’s the best movie you’ve ever seen, it’s just that it finds a way to touch the boy inside you. […]

  Posted on Nov 27.04 to Movie Reviews   

• Booty Check

  ED: When you were paying, this guy in a grey sweater was totally checking you out
  HEIDI: No.
  ED: Totally. He looked you up & down several times.
  HEIDI: I hate that.
  ED: He seemed rather fixated on your butt. At one point he mouthed the words, “oh yeah.”
  HEIDI: Holy crap. That’s sick.
  ED: Yeah.
  HEIDI: Well what did you do?
  ED: […]

  Posted on Nov 27.04 to Meaningful Dialogue, Mem-wires   

• Gobble Gobble Gobble

  I have so much tryptophan in me right now I feel like I’m going to collapse outside the Viper room.
  Come now. Don’t we all agree turkeys got screwed royally with the whole tryptophan deal. Other animals get claws, fangs, even the occasional stink spray- but turkeys evolved with a tranquilizer in their blood? Not […]

  Posted on Nov 25.04 to Mem-wires   

• Livestrong

  You’ve seen those bracelets, right? The yellow ones that EVERYone is wearing? I’m sure you have. They say “What Would Lance Armstrong Do” or something.
  This morning in the breakroom, as everyone was pouring their coffee, etc…
  KAM: Hey Brett, what is with that yellow bracelet?
  BRETT: Oh this? (starts explaining)
  ME: (piping up from my office) You’re such […]

  Posted on Nov 24.04 to Office Space   

• Screw Your Turducken

  On second thought, maybe you might not want all that mess. Anyway, the point here is I once thought that the Turducken (chicken shoved in a duck shoved in a turkey) was the highest peak that food could ever aspire to. Then, gentle readers, I came across a greater dish…
  The 1832 diaries of John B. […]

  Posted on Nov 23.04 to Impress Your Friends   

• Dane Cook in Berkeley

  Jerz and I headed over to Berkeley on Friday nite to see Dane Cook. If you know who he is than right now you are probably feeling a little jealous and inadequate. That’s natural. Seeing him perform makes me better than you. If you don’t know who he is, then don’t worry. Life just got […]

  Posted on Nov 23.04 to Comic Recaps   

• *Ding*

  So last night Heidi and I were getting all snuggly, as we often do (we’re so sickeningly affectionate people have to think it’s a front) and- as often does- the snuggletalk began.
  ED: Der’s a baby in the ubben.
  Heidi: Yet dere id. Der id a baby indere.
  ED: And soon id gonna pop out when id done.
  Heidi: […]

  Posted on Nov 23.04 to Bebbeh Chronicles, Meaningful Dialogue   

• The Beer Heard Round the World

  Yes, gentle readers, this is yet another EADC exclusive. Much ado has been brewing over the melee that broke out at Friday’s game between the Indiana Pacers and the Detroit Pistons. Punches were landed, fingers pointed and suspensions dolled out- but could it be that the REAL reason Ron Artest stormed the crowd after being […]

  Posted on Nov 22.04 to Bizzaro News, Meaningful Dialogue   

• Dumpology

  You know those dumps that remind you just how good dumps can get?
  The kind that raise the bar on morning dumps?
  What should we call those?

  Posted on Nov 22.04 to Random Observations