Dive into the archives.
- Contractions
“Honey I promise- we’ll never have sex again.”
Contractions have been getting closer, we’re headed in to the hospital!
- So far so good
Well, we still haven’t gone in b/c the contractions aren’t close enough yet. They are tough tho- real painful. I have to apply pressure to her back, she thinks shes going to have back labor.
Heidi’s doing well tho. They hurt but she’s really excited. Got her propped up on the couch watching Rachael Ray (the [...]
- Countdown
Well, folks- it looks as if it’s showtime!
Heidi’s contractions have become real doosies- and they’re pretty close. We’ll be heading into the hospital in a few.
Thru the miracle of my kyocera 7135 I’ll actually attempt blogging it (whenever i get a chance). Keep you posted.
- My Women
Heidi is the most beautiful pregnant woman.
I feel bad for guys who don’t think their women look sexy pregnant- they’re really missing out. In the last nine months, she has been more beautiful than ever. More sexy, more glowing, more woman.
First off- making a baby is a miracle. The fact that her body could even [...]
- So, How Do You Take Your Booze? Pt. 2
New developments in the Sherry Enema case (previous mention: liquor in the front), and believe me you don’t want to miss’em.
God bless Tammy Jean Warner, the wife suspected of administering the lethal poop-chute coctail- for out of her mouth has come one of the most amazing quotes of the year:
“That’s the way he went [...]
- On Babies and The Stare
On the phone with my stepmom last night, driving home…
STEPMOM: So you guys getting excited?
ED: Holy crap yes. We can’t wait to see the baby.
STEPMOM: How is Heidi feeling? She OK?
ED: Yeah. She just wants the baby out tho.
STEPMOM: Yeah the last month is like that.
ED: YOU STUPID FAT WHORE!
STEPMOM: …
ED: LET ME IN WHORE! [...]
- Manly Man 2005
So far the manliness awards for 2005 have found their first nominees:
Crabs, Lobsters and Worms.
Study finds that worms don’t feel pain on fishhooks and crabs/lobsters don’t when you boil them.
First off, you have to be impressed. They’re so freakin hard core that you can impale them and they scoff.
You can BOIL THEM ALIVE and they’re [...]
- Start Stockpiling Canned Goods… Here Comes The Apocalypse
News so awful people you’ll find yourself saying, “awww come on- why couldn’t it just be another tsunami!”
Michael Mann set to make a Miami Vice movie staring Colin Farrell and Jaime Foxx.
- GIT’R DONE!
2005 is shaping up to be the most pee-pee-in-your-pants amazing year of my life, I have decided that some changes are in order.
This year I’ll become a daddy. Actually in about 6 days or so. This by far will be the most fulfilling and challenging and amazing experience I can imagine.
This year semester I’m also [...]
- THOSE WHO DIRECT GLASS MOVIES SHOULD NOT THROW STONES
Just in case you had a shred of respect left for Mikey Moore:
Moore Digs at Gibson
3 February 2005 (WENN)
Oscar-winner Michael Moore has taken a veiled swipe at Mel Gibson’s controversial movie The Passion Of The Christ - his revenge after Gibson refused to back Fahrenheit 9/11. Moore was disappointed when the Australian heart-throb actor pulled [...]
