“Honey I promise- we’ll never have sex again.”

Contractions have been getting closer, we’re headed in to the hospital!

Well, we still haven’t gone in b/c the contractions aren’t close enough yet. They are tough tho- real painful. I have to apply pressure to her back, she thinks shes going to have back labor.

Heidi’s doing well tho. They hurt but she’s really excited. Got her propped up on the couch watching Rachael Ray (the 30 minute meal chick).

Bebbeh’s knockin’ she’s gonna come out.

Well, folks- it looks as if it’s showtime!

Heidi’s contractions have become real doosies- and they’re pretty close. We’ll be heading into the hospital in a few.

Thru the miracle of my kyocera 7135 I’ll actually attempt blogging it (whenever i get a chance). Keep you posted.

Heidi is the most beautiful pregnant woman.

I feel bad for guys who don’t think their women look sexy pregnant- they’re really missing out. In the last nine months, she has been more beautiful than ever. More sexy, more glowing, more woman.

First off- making a baby is a miracle. The fact that her body could even prepare itself to knit together our child, that’s amazing. As her cute little tummy has grown, our baby has become more and more of a reality. And as much as I loved her nine months ago, I love her twice as much now- she’s my two favorite people.

Kicks are flat out amazing things to feel.

Of course there was the puking. And puking and puking. I felt really bad cause that first trimester is tough. But men, when do you get such a chance to really feel like you’re taking care of your woman? I don’t know about you, but this made me finally start pulling my load around the house- and now I feel like superhusband. Anything that makes you feel like the man should make you love her more.

Now when your lady starts creating your future inside her, there’s gonna be some changes. If you see those changes as a downer- well then you are an idiot. The curves just get curvier. The cuddles just get cuddlier. Enjoy this time. You have a chance to make her feel the most beautiful she’s ever been. It has it’s rewards.

Bunny, I know you want this baby out- you’re ripe. I know it’s been tough on you. But the last nine months have been the best thing we’ve ever experienced and I am so proud of you and in love with you and in awe of you.

I can’t wait to welcome our baby into the world. Whether it happens today, tomorrow or Valentines Day. I love you and we’re gonna have the best time of our lives raising Paige. She’s going to want to be just like you- strong, funny, smart, goofy, with a capacity to care for people like I’ve never seen. And if she’s lucky enough that your genes cancel mine, she’ll be drop-dead gorgeous just like her mommy.

New developments in the Sherry Enema case (previous mention: liquor in the front), and believe me you don’t want to miss’em.

God bless Tammy Jean Warner, the wife suspected of administering the lethal poop-chute coctail- for out of her mouth has come one of the most amazing quotes of the year:

“That’s the way he went out and I’m sure that’s the way he wanted to go out because he loved his enemas,”

Not to worry tho, she keeps going.

“It all started back when he was a child,” Mrs. Warner explained. “His mother used to give him enemas all the time, and he started to depend on them.”

“He did coffee enemas, he did Castile soap, Ivory soap,” she said. “He had enema recipes.”

Recipes. Nice. If she doesn’t become a celebrity after this, then there is no justice in the world. At the very least we need to see her on the daily show.