A short instructional exposition on how to make me depressed in one swift motion:

Tell me that the Hitchhiker’s Guide is going to suck.

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy movie is an abomination. Whereas the radio show, TV show, books and computer game are all recognisably variations on a theme, this is something new and almost entirely unrelated. It’s not even a good film if viewed as an original work: the characters are unsympathetic, the cast exhibit no chemistry, the direction is pedestrian, the pace plodding, the special effects overpowering (lots and lots of special effects, none of them funny mind you) and above all the script is amazingly, mindbogglingly awful. Oh, and they have taken most of the jokes out.

You know, I was just telling someone last night that with Sin City and HHGG both coming out so close together I was starting to feel like I don’t deserve to be living in such an amazing time in history.

Hearing that it’s going to suck is like finally realizing Santa was a lie. You held on for so long trying to believe the impossible until reality finally twisted its trucker hat to the back and with one slow-motion strained yelp crushed your dream for good.

Wow- I don’t think I’ve ever been so proud of one of my analogies.

Anyway, at least this will serve to lower my expectations which is always a good thing.


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COMMENTS / 7 COMMENTS

Say It Ain’t So, Douglas

Ed Adkins points to an Internet post which claims The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy sucks like no movie has ever sucked before. You should read the full review off of Ed’s site for yourself. In a nutshell: the film’s not funny. All of the best jokes…

The Zero Boss added these pithy words on Apr 10 05 at 1:28 pm

Well, do you trust this guy’s opinion? I’ve found that I don’t always agree with critics, unless this guy is fan with that particular genre. I didn’t want to read further b/c I still want to see it and didn’t want the spoilers to ruin it.

Becky added these pithy words on Apr 10 05 at 10:37 am

Santa was a lie?

paul added these pithy words on Apr 10 05 at 12:20 pm

You’re on a major Santa kick, yo.

Natalie added these pithy words on Apr 10 05 at 7:13 pm

Yes, santa was in fact a lie. But for our own good- like the WMD’s.

Second, nat may be right- i could be on a santa kick. and perhaps i whould look into why. i’ll tell you what- everyone start buying me stuff off my wishlist so we can get to the bottom of it.

and lastly, i never totally trust critics- they can’t possibly be as good as me- but this guy’s argument at has shaken me some.

ed adkins added these pithy words on Apr 11 05 at 9:11 am

wait, does this mean santa-pope’s not dead?

copygodd added these pithy words on Apr 11 05 at 12:11 pm

Wait you mean to tell me that a cheap special effects movie staring Mos Def isn’t good? I say good day to you sir… I say good day!

The Holy Father added these pithy words on Apr 19 05 at 1:07 pm
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And the rest, after a sudden wet thud, was silence.

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