Originally Aired January 21, 2004

LOCAL WOMAN ATTEMPTS TO NAB PRESTIGIOUS AWARD

See, this story deserves so much more than just “Gas can, cigarette cause car explosion.” How can such a tiny blurb accompanied by a collection of pictures accurately depict such a riviting tale of heroicism and self sacrifice? It can’t. So our investigative reporting team here at EDANDHEIDI.com went down to the scene to interview this brave woman.

ED: For those just tuning in, this is Ed Adkins reporting for EDANDHEIDI.com on an incredible story unfolding in our own Reno, Nevada. I’m here with local heroine, Carol Wall, who I’m told earlier today was set to become the latest Nevadan to recieve the prestigous, “Darwin Award”. Now, I’ve got to speak up, since Mrs. Wall is now 90 percent deaf due to almost killing herself and three other people while attempting to light a cigarette today- a cigarette named “fame”.

Carol: (moderately charred) My car is on fire.

Ed: Now it says here that you are not actually retarded. Isn’t that true Mrs. Wall?

Carol: WHAT? Oh yes- I’m technically not retarded. At least not enough to recieve state funding.

Ed: Now, that is amazing. So you are telling me that earlier today, you put an uncovered gas can in the back of your tiny hatchback and then tried to light a cigarette- without the aid of mental retardation? Amazing.

Carol: Well, I always was a dreamer.

Ed: And to boot- you kept the windows up. I’m supprized you even had the mental ability to ignite your little gas-bomb. Any normal person would have succomb to asphyxiation. What kept you going?

Carol: It wasn’t easy, Mr. reporter man. A couple times I came real close to just takin a nap-

Ed: While driving?

Carol: You can’t take little things like that into account when you’re going for the gold, friend. My eyes were on the prize- that shiny Darwin thingy just a’ gleamin’ on my mantle.

Ed: Or the mantle of your next of kin, naturally. Woman you are an inspiration. Here’s to your next attempt at greatness. On location in Reno, this has been Ed Adkins with an exclusive segment of EDANDHEIDI. Back to the newsroom.

Special shout-out to Jerz & Mrs. Jerz for the article.

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