Blogging Truths Uncovered #34
NO ONE BLOGS FOR THEMSELVES.
No one.
People who write a blog and try to pretend they just write it for themselves reek of the thick stench of pretentiousness. They rank along side girls who have words on their butts and people who whisper personal stuff really loudly. I see people write this crap all the time:
“I Don’t care who reads this”
“It’s so tacky- people fishing for traffic.”
“I don’t even look at my stats.”
“It’s not a popularity contest.”
“I hate Wil Wheaton.”
Sure. I believe you, you lying whore. That’s why you write your diary ON THE FREAKING INTERNET.
People who want to put their thoughts in a private place put their diaries ON PAPER, where it serves one single purpose- to teach their younger brother that girls get those thoughts too.
I write my blog because I want to be rich and famous. I don’t want everyone to like it- I want people with a sense of humor to become obsessed with it. I want them spending obscene amounts of time at work checking for my updates. I want them to neglect their personal lives, appointments, family and whatnot. I want them spreading the edadkins.com gospel to all ends of the earth until one day I’m climbing a mountain in Tibet with my horrendously large entourage when from atop a steep cliff I hear a lonely sherpa exclaim- “man i f*cking LOVE your blog.”
That’s why I do this. I would die if no one read it. I need attention. And I will stoop to some pretty low places in order to bring readers here. I’ll enter contests, visit tons of sites and leave crappy comments and kiss as much butt as I have to. And so will you.
So quit lying people and fess up. And don’t put words on your butt and try and pretend you don’t want people looking.
January 9th, 2005 at 5:44 pm
This one post has just earned you a spot on my blogroll; you are just one step closer to that mountain.
January 9th, 2005 at 7:59 pm
Funny stuff. But I do write in “Internet places” where nobody I know reads and people would only ever be able to get to it by accident.
January 9th, 2005 at 9:27 pm
I do it for the chicks. Nothing else.
January 9th, 2005 at 11:03 pm
I’m deeply phobia of sherpas, so what if I proclaim “man i f*cking LOVE your blog!” in your comments?
January 10th, 2005 at 1:03 am
This was great! Truer words were never spoken, and as usual, in a manner that makes me laugh outloud. For what it’s worth, I definitely check to see if you’ve updated everyday:)
Has anyone said you look like Tom Green?
January 10th, 2005 at 10:13 am
Can I hate Will Wheaton and STILL love to whore myself out? I wasn’t sure.
January 10th, 2005 at 12:39 pm
AMEN BRUTHA!!!…Amen and well said…
January 10th, 2005 at 2:46 pm
I wear my opinions on my t-shirts. Right now I have a blank t-shirt that is available if the advertising $’s are spent right.
January 10th, 2005 at 5:08 pm
umm I think if you are gay, you blog for yourself.
or a yenta…
let me just shut up what am I talking about you are right.
or a SWF age 45 ,4kids, divorced..no wait they do it to find a new daddy for their childrenz
-sha-
January 11th, 2005 at 12:02 pm
I know what you mean. I even come to your site and whore myself. I’m kidding, your site is good. But seriously, theasspage.blogspot.com for all your at-home shopping needs. And free money.
January 11th, 2005 at 3:36 pm
Who is Will Wheaton? Is he an old people thing?
January 13th, 2005 at 10:49 pm
I want to mail them a bic and a legal pad and tell them to get after it!!!!
January 14th, 2005 at 6:31 am
Just found your blog today as I am relatively new to this whole thing and…wow…you are one of the reasons I recently posted this comment onto my own:
“I am no where nearly as talented or clever as I thought I was. I’m a mere amoeba in a huge ocean of overwhelmingly brilliant whales”.
January 15th, 2005 at 10:40 am
i started blogging when i worked for myself (i.e. from home) — i had more time. i’m sure you’ll find that many who blog either don’t have a job, or have a job that affords them the time, or, like myself, have made it habit. i read something at someone else’s blog about using it as an archiving tool (i.e. something that will be used as a personal history/autobiography of sorts, when you die) and i’ve bought into that for myself.
so at any rate yeah–i mainly *do* blog for myself, but i absolutely do enjoy/desire an audience, since oftentimes i post things i think people may find helpful, or that i want some kind of feedback about, to help hash the thoughts out in my mind.
another reason to have your diary “on the internet” — well, at least for me, it’s a good place to consolidate my “tech playground” — i like tinkering with (x)html/css, php, and the like, so, in the absence of paying clients (which i don’t need or desire, since i have a day job), it’s a good excuse to play, as well as keep my friends and family (most of whom i’m quite far from these days) up to date with what’s going on.
January 17th, 2005 at 8:25 am
Ed, Ed, Ed…you are SO RIGHT!
January 17th, 2005 at 6:50 pm
Damn right. i blog for the 10 or so readers who may or may not read my crappy portion of the world each day. I blog because my life is so mundane that blogging lets me vent my frustration about everyday things without landing myself in the mental ward at the local hospital. I blog because I own two computers and have no freelance jobs to keep me busy at home. I also write remarks in people’s comments section after only skimming their sites. Which I happen to like this one, if not for the content which I read some of, the design. It kicks ass.
I also blog because I made a promise to myself to write. To write at least once a day. I have kept it up for 14 months already and it feels good to be articulate and have another outlet for my creativity (or lack thereof).
January 26th, 2005 at 3:33 pm
suddenly and quite completely, i love you. You are a blog god to me and I fully intend to file papers to rename each of my sons Ed Adkins Dot Com. Well maybe the firstborn will just be Ed Dot Com, that way I can tell them apart.