Basically, I’m falling apart.
I don’t get to find out what the problem is for 4 more weeks. That’s when they’re gonna stick a camera up my ass. Apparently the treatment for most gastro-intestinal problems is utter humiliation. Not only do they shove a Polaroid up there, but I hear they snip off a souvenir.
Nice.
It gets better though. In the week I’ve been home, my “problem” (they think either number one or number two) has graduated into full-on Mr. Captain Tripps (way to go copygodd- pick on a sick man.) Either a virus has caused this (my hope- then i have neither) or I have some super-flu on top of it. My temperature keeps popping up near 103, then down sub-98. I get so cold I layer all the blankets we have on me, and then i get so hot I sweat so much the couch looks like a kiddie pool.
On the upside, daytime television has made me feel a little better that I work 9 to 5.
You know some people with problem one actually get part of their colon removed? I guess that would leave them with a semicolon! HA! A little GI humor for you kids. I’ll be here all week!
Anyway, I know you’re jealous, what with my steady diet of oranges and oatmeal, the hot sweats and the chills. No worries. I don’t think I can give this to anyone unless we like rub colons or something. My gawd I am gross. Blame it on the vicodin.
For all of you anxiously awaiting every post here at EADC, you’ll have to wait for the next time I’m this conscious. From all of us here at EADC, take care of your pooper, America.
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COMMENTS / 7 COMMENTS
lu added these pithy words on May 24 05 at 1:17 pmDamn, Ed. I’m putting in my vote for the virus too. *crossing fingers*
Hey, at least you are gonna have a leg up on this years Christmas card photo….I am on that list, right?
Brum added these pithy words on May 24 05 at 1:23 pmWelcome to my world Ed! I have IBS and Crohns disease. I’m glad we can share in this wonderful experience… Seriously though… Good luck dude. I know how bad this sucks.
Shanti added these pithy words on May 24 05 at 5:00 pmDamn homie. Divirticulitis is some serious shit. (no pun intended)
My dad was diagnosed with something similar back when he was a whippersnapper in his mid-twenties.
He had a buddy drop him off at this watering hole out in the country (about 5 hours outside The Lou), and told him to come back a week later.
My dad fasted & just drank water for that week… when he got back, the divirticulitis or whatever it was, was gone.
Anyway, there’s hope brother. hang in there, man.
copygodd added these pithy words on May 24 05 at 8:25 pmis mr. tripps anything like captain trips?
at first, they thought my problem might be diverticulitis. then they ruled that out. then they thought it might be something else. then they ruled that out. eventually, they decided it was ibs (irritable bowel syndrome). in a moment of shame, my doctor admitted that ibs is a diagnosis of last resort, meaning they’ve ruled everything else out, but they feel obligated to diagnose it as something.
good luck.
Cigar Jack added these pithy words on May 25 05 at 7:00 pmReally you get used to the Polaroid cameria… until it starts spitting out photos, they itch.
All kidding aside I hope everything works our for the best.
Shanti,
I’ve heard that fasting can do amazing things. I wish our Medical Community would investigate the benefits.
Philip added these pithy words on May 27 05 at 8:56 amHey, first time here (followed your groupie Lu over) but what do I see? Alien Belly issues. I feel for you, having just had the camera up and the camera down. What are the current two theories of what’s eating you? My ten month odyssey has given me a final diagnosis of hiatal hernia and gastritis - but I have lots of doctor stories to swap if you need support.
Becky added these pithy words on May 29 05 at 3:08 pmWow Ed… I hope they can figure out what the hell this is and get better. You have Austin City Limits to go to.
