The following is an internal conversation that occurred while Walking into the elevator the other day:
(Step into elevator, push Lobby)
MIND: … I can’t believe how quick the final exam got here- I’m so not prepared at-
ABDOMEN: Yo man.
MIND: …all. Maybe if I rush I…
ABDOMEN: Dude.
MIND: …get home… read my notes- WHAT?
ABDOMEN: I’m noticing some discomfort.
MIND: Whatever- just take care of it, I’m freaking out.
ABDOMEN: Ok
(FLOOR 11)
EARS: Did you hear that?
MIND: Will you guys please shut up!
NOSE: I’m with ears on this one. Something’s up.
EARS: I told you.
EYES: Nope, all’s clear. Ear’s full of crap again.
EARS: Dude, whatever- who asked you?
NOSE: Ohhhhh MAN!
MIND: Shut Up- wait… ears, nose, abdomen…
(FLOOR 10)
MIND: Holy Crap! Abdomen- what did you do?
ABDOMEN: I took care of it. Ask the butt.
BUTT: Wha? What? I just finished my nap- we going home already?
MIND: What have you done?!?! We’re in an ELEVATOR!
BUTT: wait a second- looks like I might have fired one off.
FACE: Que the redness and sweat.
EYES: I’m serious guys, I think you’re over reacting- there’s nothing there.
MIND: Abdomen!
ABDOMEN: Well, maybe you should listen to me once in a while.
MIND: Dude you can’t go around just-
NOSE: Oh my LORD! Hands- can you give me some help here? Close me up!
LEGS: We’ll get us out of this! Let’s go boys! Hup Hup hup…
MIND: WAIT!
LEFT HAND: No one leaves here until I push the button!
RIGHT HAND: Control freak.
NOSE: A little help!
LEFT HAND: I said hold on!
NOSE: Well, SOMEone didn’t look so shy when he was picking me earlier.
EYES: Oh MY- we’re watering now- What the hell did you eat?
FEET: Um, it kinda feels like we’re slowing down.
EARS: Wait, so like some one is getting on? Freaking classic.
MIND: EVERYONE CALM DOWN- THIS IS AN EMERGENCY! GAAHHHH! WEERREEE STOPING!!!!
NIPPLES: We’re all gonna die!!!!!
(FLOOR 9) (ding)
To be continued…
- BROWSE / IN TIMELINE
- « Best of 2004 Volume “Whiskey Delta”
- » ELEVATOR CHRONICLES: PART II
- BROWSE / IN Miserable Moments
- « How Not To Wake Up
- » They Took My Baby Away
- RELATED / YOU MIGHT FIND THESE INTERESTING No related posts
COMMENTS / 7 COMMENTS
carson added these pithy words on Dec 30 04 at 2:38 pmWhat’s worse than farting in an elevator & then having your boss get on at the next floor? Getting onto an empty elevator, realizing after the doors have shut that someone has let loose a bomb but escaped, and THEN having your boss get on at the next floor.
Not that it’s ever happened to me, of course.
wifey added these pithy words on Dec 30 04 at 5:13 pmagain, I am sooooooo glad we’re having a girl!
Krista added these pithy words on Dec 31 04 at 7:57 amThat is some funny sh*t right there…
Thoroughly enjoyed reading your blog. I clicked one of your banners while surfing BE, and ended up here…for a while…
I will be back.
Peggasus added these pithy words on Dec 31 04 at 11:37 am*****Snort!******
Ha! You’re too funny! You should be a comedian!
Arethusa added these pithy words on Jan 01 05 at 4:03 pmGirls don’t do these sort of…OH yeah totally!
ANOTHER ABDOMEN added these pithy words on Jan 04 05 at 10:57 amsee, eyes!? I told you I wasn’t the only one that does it.
