1:Buy 108 proof Wild Turkey and put it in small bottles (arizona ice tea for example). You can add water in your glass later if 108 is too harsh.
2:buy microwave burritos and bring a microwave!!! Oops, it looks like that would be classified as a cooking device. Keep the microwave in your tent/camper/car and they won’t see it…

Be warned though. One bottle of arizona tea worth of whiskey will light you up and potentialy cause you to violate rules 12 and 13..

*Let it be known that what my comment will lack in humor will be made up for in effectiveness.

Sneaking in alcohol: I have seen and used several ways of getting alcohol where alcohol was never intended, and the most effective would definitely have to be the binocular flask. The lens unscrews and fills up with your choice of beverage, and they’re only about $10 from a prank store or catalogue. Just make sure that you fill it up all the way to the top so you can’t hear the liquid moving around inside. It’s especially useful for something like an outdoor concert too, where the security will see lots of rule-following [idiots] with real binoculars. It wasn’t so effective to say that I was going to be bird watching in my high school dances though.

Cooking: It should be easy enough to hide a portable hot plate in a car somewhere as long as you’re not wearing a turbin, but if you can’t, you can always bring some tin foil and heat stuff up on your engine. That’s what I did when the queen came over.

Plus, if all else fails, drinking at your car and then going into the campground is less challenging and fun, but pretty foolproof.

Sneak the booze in via the Listerine Bottle. You have to buy the nasty Listerine, but it looks just like whiskey. I’ve heard of this happening with soldiers in the middle east, where the booze is prohibited. Charge your crap in the car for a few hours at a time. Finally, bring tons of that astronaut ice cream.

Bag the campground and get a hotel. Go to the concert and then hit up the hotel loby bar for any alcohol related urges. Imagine what Woodstock would have been like with these silly rules. We’d be saying “Woodstock? You mean the yellow bird from that cartoon?” All the things they’ve banned are what will make it fun! Although a nearby Taco Bell will take care of the “cooking devices” issue. Do you really think security will be oblivious to some of your scams? “Yes officer, I know we’re only camping for two nights, but we need this costco size Listerine. Why was I pouring Listerine into my Pepsi? Well…” Here is the conclusion of the matter: Pay $7 for a beer, buy food from the vendors at the concert without thought of what it would cost somewhere else. Don’t try to fight the system, it’s designed to win, and hopefully someday you’ll be on the other side of the system reaping the rewards and trying to beat the scheming minority who will eventually loose. Just my thoughts.

I’ll not comment on any percieved correlation between racial minorities and shceming if that’s what you’re shooting for, I’d like to keep my future political career afloat. However, there does seem to be a lot of thought going into this scheme to sneak some liquor and food into a concert. I propose we pool our minds for a greater cause, like how to bring down Al’ Queda or how to make a billion dollars. There’s a blog page for you, howtomakeabilliondollars.com. Hmmmmm.

Don’t try to fight the system? JEFF’S A NARC!

and a failure as a mother.