I Won and Lost $35 Million Before I Even Woke Up

You know those dreams that actually affect your mood when you wake up?

I’ve talked to other couples who have those- you have a bizarre dream where your spouse does something horrible and you wake up mad at them? I woke up still trying to blame Heidi for something in my dream last night.

In the dream we were moving out of an apartment or something. Or maybe I was mowing the lawn. Either way, both of my hands were occupied. Heidi was out of town in like New York or something and while there she bought a lottery ticket.

She gets back and I’m still all busy. Upon checking the ticket, though, she finds out that we’ve won 35 million dollars.

What?

Yeah. 35 million. Dolla dolla bill ya’ll. We freak out. First I’m like, NO MORE STUDENT LOANS. Then we start thinking about all that this means and it really sinks in. It’s one of those real-life-emotions dreams that feels all real.

But wait- where’s the ticket?

You see, since I was all busy when Heidi came home and my hands as I said were ocupado, Heidi placed whatever she was talking about in my teeth and I clamped down on it expecting to check it out when I had a free hand.

But when I’m concentrating I chew. Toothpicks, straws, my tongue, whatever. And by the time that I realized something might be up, whatever was in my mouth was now pulp. I spit it out and was all, “It can’t be- she wouldn’t- it’s not… Honey?!?”

Now she’s all “You chewed up the ticket?” and I’m all “You put the Ticket in my mouth?” It’s a mess.

We tried to redeem the mound of ticket pulp, but they refused. And like I said, the dream ended and I was frustrated and depressed. How often do you lose 35 million dollars before you even wake up?

We’re cool now though. We’ve both decided any winning lottery tickets in the house get redeemed before ever chewing on them.

By Ed Adkins on May 18th, 2004 at 10:42 am

Topics: Mem-wires