I was so inspired by peskyapostrophe’s recap of tonite’s american idle that I decided to write my own.

Actually Heidi has been making me watch it and the only way to redeem myself is to rip it to shreds.

Actually I’m gay now. That’s why I watched ameriKan idol.

Whatever. I don’t care what you think.

So, i didn’t see the beginning of the show because we got into a little tiff. we’re kind of on edge now that we get no sleep and want to die. I wake up three times a night to change Paige- which is pretty much like disarming a time bomb since she’s gotten into the habit of launching mortar attacks of hot mustard right in the middle of the act. Heidi meanwhile resents being relegated to the position of milk cow.

So fast-forward to the great emasculation of watching America’s youth compete to enter the mediocre world of pop music.

The first one I remember was the chick from the nanny. I won’t be mean to her since she’s got about 2 more shows in her- max. But her accent belongs in an old navy commercial- it needs to fall down a well.

The next i think was Constantine. His second little chin mocks us all. the best sound he could possibly emit would be the gentle ting from an aluminum bat to the back of his head. Next time you see him jus try not to think smeegle.

By the way, Seacrest is another candidate for an Iraqi beheading video. Have he and Carson daily eloped yet?

There was that one little Benny Hill version of clay akin. Again I’ll pass.

There’s a black girl who sounds good but she won’t win b/c she looks too much like Justin from the 1st season.

Bo is great. That’s all I’m gonna say about him. Now, I’m not saying I’d have his babies or anything but the man is on like Donkey Kong. Don’t look at me.

What happened to Paula Abdul? Did she get old last week?

Pesky by the way lost a lot of cool points with me. She dissed both Spinning Wheel AND You Make Me So Very Happy. That’s unforgivable. Both songs are on heavy rotation whenever I Karaoke. You keep on this track and you’re dead to me Peske.

Well now, I’m glad I got that all out of my system. if i said it in front of Heidi I’d be wearing my colon around my neck. i do hope it helped anyone catch up who may have missed tonites episode.

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