Old Man Nearly Dies At Local Concert

Age has always been a fluid concept for me. I was always tall, so when i was a teenager i’d lie about my age whenever it would help- getting a job, buying smokes, joining the merchant marines, whathaveyou. I’m also really immature (no really) which I figure should keep me stuck acting like a teenager until i’m in adult diapers.

But this year i’ve been becoming increasingly aware of my impending oldness.

Last night it was painfully obvious.

I went to a concert- Helmet, Chevelle and a bunch of kiddierock bands. Now the first indication of my age was that I was only there to see helmet- “helmet who?” all the kids asked.

Second indication is the fact that today I feel like Chuck Norris in that movie where they put a rat in a burlap bag and put his head in there. If of course the rat could scream really really loud and give him a hangover.

Now, in my defense I did get up front and yell and jump and use all the weight i’ve gained since getting my desk job. I proved that I can still hang with the kiddies. But unlike the kiddies I went back to the bar and drank 17 gallons of water afterward so i didn’t die of whiskey-and-sweating-induced dehydration.

Ugh. Anyway, Helmet absolutely rocked. As the youngsters say they are still “keeping it real.” No gimmics, No rockstarness. They just get up there, make your head rattle and leave. very Very nice. I was a little bummed that they didn’t listen to me screaming for them to play “you borrowed” but like me they’re prolly just getting a little hard of hearing in their old age.

By Ed Adkins on February 2nd, 2005 at 11:52 am

Topics: Mem-wires