Oompa Loompa DompadeeWTF?

Once again gentle readers, I have been fooled.

This man was never an oompaloompa. (local news story)

You see, back when this blog was just a wee pup, I went to go see a showing Charlie and the Chocolate Factory at a park here in Reno. That’s when I learned that we Renoites (allegedly) had an Oomaloompa living amongst us. Not your average little person- not just any midget- a real live OompaFRIGGINloompa. You can imagine the immense pride I immediately felt for my town. Top that, L.A.

Well, apparently it had all been a clever ruse. The Oomposter in question, Mr. Ezze (Yo, Ezze, why you wear your pants like that) Dame, had been telling people he had been an Oompaloompa for 34 years. The one driving the boat when Gene Wilder goes all apeshit over the swirling colors and stuff, to be precise.

After recently getting outed by a real Oompa he came clean yesterday.

His reason? Now, come on- does he really need one? If I were a midget I’d sure as crap be telling people the exact friggin same thing. Imagine all the tail he got with that story. OK stop imagining it- there are websites for that sort of thing.

He claims it all started as an attempt to pad his resume when he was getting into acting. Apparently it landed him a sweet gig in a chevy chase movie too. Once again, you simply cannot find fault in what he did. He’s a midget, for crying out loud. Job prospects are pretty limited- even if they can ride on rainbows and talk to unicorns.

I don’t fault Ezze. In fact, he’s an incredibly nice guy and extremely involved in the local arts scene. I say we should all play it off and let bygones be bygones. My guess is the local community will support him- I know I will. I’d have to be crazy to piss him off and give up my chance at three wishes or his pot of gold or something.

Previous Mentions:

• The first time I saw Ezze perform

• Action shots in full Oompaloompa regalia
• Talking to Ezze about the new Tim Burton Wonka Movie

By Ed Adkins on August 10th, 2005 at 11:41 am

Topics: Bizzaro News