based on true events
Secret Pastafarian Video Exposed!
This is the result of the camera-wielding talents of Mike Henderson, and a lot of beer/whiskey.
I was going to try and make this post seem somewhat serious, but that quickly became a task I wasn’t up to, given the amount of whiskey I’ve consumed and the time.
Originally, it was twice as long and devolved into even goofier drunken sadness. The gold tooth I have in the beginning ended up getting swallowed later on with a shot of maker’s, making Pastafarians also the authorities on intoxication. If for some ungodly reason there’s ever interest in the directors cut, it might show itself.
If you don’t know what this is referencing, watch this video:
So, here we go again.
I’m actually blogging again. Yes, this time I’m serious. There’s just too much I want to comment on and such.
For right now I like this minimalist template. I’ve got a similar one I’m working on but I didn’t want to wait. I’ve missed you all so much.
“I’m Making The World More Mediocre!”
Watch this trailer. Watch this movie. I agree with sheckymagazine- the phase “Frankly… original scares me a little” is going to be a cult classic.
Pretty much, this is exactly what it feels like when more than 3 people are involved planning anything. I’m in love with every line Sigourney Weaver has in this trailer. “Suicide is like depressing to like 82% of everybody.”
If you have a vision for something, and you need to explain it to a group- the first thing you need to realize is that you are screwed. The next thing you need to realize is that one third of the room will try to sabotage you because your idea is in direct conflict with their interests. Another third will try to sabotage you just …
“OMG, DID YOU HEAR? BLAH BLAH BLAH TRAINWRECK BLAH BLAH BLAH SAW IT COMING”
Quit talking about Britney Spears.
Seriously.
The next time you’re going to talk about something like Britney Spears or Anna Nicole Smith, just stop for a moment and take stock of your life.
What brought you here?
What sad string of events lead up to you, sitting at your sad little cubicle, browsing the internet on company time, perusing the pathetically catty gossipblogs to find something- anything- that would make you seem like you know what’s going on in the world.
What got you here? Nothing. Paying absolutely NO attention to your own god damned life or the world you live it in.
Here’s what you know about politics: gays want to get married and our boys are still in harm’s way off in the middle east.
Here’s what you know about economics: ______.
Here’s what you know about the environment: global warming is SO hot right now.
And …
LIVE EARTH: THE RETURN OF BONO’S MULLET
From Wikipedia:
Live Earth is a series of concerts planned for July 7, 2007 (7/7/07) to raise awareness of global climate change. An anouncement was made on February 15, 2007 by former U.S. Vice President Al Gore and other activists as part of a campaign called Save Our Selves (SOS). The concert series is modeled after the 1985 Live Aid concerts and 2005’s Live8.
Organizers have stated a goal of reaching an audience of 2 billion.
The concert intends to have an event on every continent, including the first rock concert on Antarctica.
I’m confused.
I checked the lineup and didn’t see Green Day listed anywhere.
I thought they signed a contract along with U2 to headline every piece of shit overhyped mega-concert through 2017.
From My Friend Angus:
If they were serious then they’d only accept people who arrive via public transport into …
Mind of Holness
Dear sweet holy mother of crap. Please, please watch Joe Rogan dismantle Carlos Mencia live. Joe’s been a voice in the desert for years calling comedians out on joke stealing.
One in particular is Carlos (Ned Holness) Mencia. I guess last week Nedlos had enough of it and decided to challenge Joe on stage. The preceding trainwreck is hilarious. This is destined to make the rounds.
Joe Rogan VS Carlos Mencia onstageAdd to My Profile | More Videos
The irony of this is that the same mindless dolts who have been slapping their knees over this guys garbage ever since comedy central scrambled to plug him in the gaping hole left by Chappelle are going to be the ones who watch this video and turn against …
It’s like moving back to your home town.
I’m really uncomfortable with this whole “return to blogging.”
Mostly because I hate blogging. I hate the word “blog” and “blogosphere” and “blogger” and dear jesus don’t let me hear the word “podcast” ever ever ever again.
I also hate all bloggers.
Especially guys like Jerz who have become mega superstars in my absence.
Jay has become way more of a superstar- he’s bordering on nova.
There’s lots of other people I read who deserve mentions but I want to talk about me.
Well, what have I done while on my sabbatical?
I moved my family to a tropical island in the middle of - well, to tell the truth I still don’t know where Guam is.
The move has gone well. We love the tropical (perfect) weather, and a lot of the food is good. There’s plenty of great people here and island …
IEDs use LEDs
For anyone wondering what the “Mooninite Brouhaha” was that I mentioned in the previous post, I will explain.
Cartoon Network has some hilarious shows. One called “Aqua teen Hunger Force” has been out for a few years but they decided to drum up some attention for it using a viral marketing campain. They made signs about 1′ x 1′ that had lights in the shape of a couple characters from the show and attached magnets on them so they could set them in random places in 10 cities.
They were just signs with lights.
People thought they were great. The main fanbase for these shows totally appreciates clever, subtle gestures like this.
Boston, on the other hand, thought they were here to destroy the world.
They called in the police, homeland security, and basically everyone but the troops stationed in Iraq in order to neutralize …
Well, I guess I’m blogging again
So I send this message to Sean about the whole mooninite brouhaha and boom- it ends up on boingboing.
I blogged for like 3 years and nothing. I stop for a year and this happens.
The whole ATHF thing is hilarious to me. I don’t have a problem with what’s called “mainstream media.” On the contrary- I work for a media outlet. So it’s not like I’m all “grab the torches and pitchforks and lets tear down the establishment- BLOGGERS UNITE!”
I just see all these folks trying to report on something they don’t understand- when weeks ago I read individuals who saw the objects, immediately identified them and started posting the pictures on their blogs (without alerting homeland security).
This information was available via a google search or two, and yet the media and some assorted aging round white guys in …
OK, so i lied.
It’s 2007 and no triumphant return.
It doesn’t mean that I don’t love you though. It’s just that uncle eddie’s been real, real busy. Not to worry- all those fun filled projects are still rolling along.
I treat the blog like most relationships. When I want you back I’ll do something obnoxious to get your attention.
