From Wikipedia:

Live Earth is a series of concerts planned for July 7, 2007 (7/7/07) to raise awareness of global climate change. An anouncement was made on February 15, 2007 by former U.S. Vice President Al Gore and other activists as part of a campaign called Save Our Selves (SOS). The concert series is modeled after the 1985 Live Aid concerts and 2005’s Live8.

Organizers have stated a goal of reaching an audience of 2 billion.

The concert intends to have an event on every continent, including the first rock concert on Antarctica.

I’m confused.

I checked the lineup and didn’t see Green Day listed anywhere.

I thought they signed a contract along with U2 to headline every piece of shit overhyped mega-concert through 2017.

From My Friend Angus:

If they were serious then they’d only accept people who arrive via public transport into the concerts- Including the performers

Since when did Snoop Dogg give a fuck about the planet? And Tim McGraw…he better turn up in a Prius

Dear sweet holy mother of crap. Please, please watch Joe Rogan dismantle Carlos Mencia live. Joe’s been a voice in the desert for years calling comedians out on joke stealing.

One in particular is Carlos (Ned Holness) Mencia. I guess last week Nedlos had enough of it and decided to challenge Joe on stage. The preceding trainwreck is hilarious. This is destined to make the rounds.

Joe Rogan VS Carlos Mencia onstage

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The irony of this is that the same mindless dolts who have been slapping their knees over this guys garbage ever since comedy central scrambled to plug him in the gaping hole left by Chappelle are going to be the ones who watch this video and turn against him.

Personally, I don’t watch the guy. As a white male, I find his observations about how caucasians are uptight, mexicans steal and black people like malt liquor far too over the top and edgy for my fragile constitution.

I’m really uncomfortable with this whole “return to blogging.”

Mostly because I hate blogging. I hate the word “blog” and “blogosphere” and “blogger” and dear jesus don’t let me hear the word “podcast” ever ever ever again.

I also hate all bloggers.

Especially guys like Jerz who have become mega superstars in my absence.

Jay has become way more of a superstar- he’s bordering on nova.

There’s lots of other people I read who deserve mentions but I want to talk about me.

Well, what have I done while on my sabbatical?

I moved my family to a tropical island in the middle of - well, to tell the truth I still don’t know where Guam is.

The move has gone well. We love the tropical (perfect) weather, and a lot of the food is good. There’s plenty of great people here and island life has much to offer. Sometimes, the lack of fresh veggies or the high cost of utilities and good beer get us down, but it’s the price you pay to be surrounded by beaches.

Heidi and Paige are great- you can always read our exploits at adkinscentral.

I visited Japan. I’ve gotten back into the gym. I’ve been to the beach a few times. I’ve seen the most incredible things in the jungle- and in the water. I spent 21 days as a vegan and it was the healthiest Ive ever felt. I gave up coffee. That’s a lie.

I haven’t seen a (non-local) live musical performance and it’s killing me. Ok, i went to a hoobastank concert and I am deeply ashamed about that. I have had precious few salads. I haven’t pissed anyone off on the internet.

I didn’t miss you. I came back because I crave attention. In case that shocks anyone’s delicate sensibilities, I will share with you the relationship advice my dear Grandmother used to bestow upon the girls of the family:

“Don’t think you’re special- if he could get it from a Gorilla he would- and be just as happy.”

For anyone wondering what the “Mooninite Brouhaha” was that I mentioned in the previous post, I will explain.

Cartoon Network has some hilarious shows. One called “Aqua teen Hunger Force” has been out for a few years but they decided to drum up some attention for it using a viral marketing campain. They made signs about 1′ x 1′ that had lights in the shape of a couple characters from the show and attached magnets on them so they could set them in random places in 10 cities.

They were just signs with lights.

People thought they were great. The main fanbase for these shows totally appreciates clever, subtle gestures like this.

Boston, on the other hand, thought they were here to destroy the world.

They called in the police, homeland security, and basically everyone but the troops stationed in Iraq in order to neutralize these “im’nent terr’ist threats” as our President would say.

What caused them to think they were dangerous? According to authorities they had “components consistent with improvised explosive devices.”

Those components were:

• Batteries

• Wires
• Lights
• A Circuit Board

OMGHOLYSHIT I have components consistent with improvised explosive devices in my computer! Hold on- SHIT- there’s some in my TV too! Call DHS- I looked under the hood of my car and I’ll be damned if the terrorists didn’t place some suspicious compenents there too!

Witness the placing of these horrifying signs below. If you dare.

So I send this message to Sean about the whole mooninite brouhaha and boom- it ends up on boingboing.

I blogged for like 3 years and nothing. I stop for a year and this happens.

The whole ATHF thing is hilarious to me. I don’t have a problem with what’s called “mainstream media.” On the contrary- I work for a media outlet. So it’s not like I’m all “grab the torches and pitchforks and lets tear down the establishment- BLOGGERS UNITE!”

I just see all these folks trying to report on something they don’t understand- when weeks ago I read individuals who saw the objects, immediately identified them and started posting the pictures on their blogs (without alerting homeland security).

This information was available via a google search or two, and yet the media and some assorted aging round white guys in boston all began shaking their fists labeling it a terrorist hoax.

Terrorist what? Oh wait- so you guys have so much information about it and have it so figured out that you know for SURE what it was meant for? Wow. You guys are good. Even after people have identified it as a campaign to raise awareness for an animated TV show, you stick to believing these guys were bent on terrifying the townsfolk. No, see- that’s what the terror alert thermometer and fox news are for.

I’d love to see the whitehouse memo that reported Al Queda was planning on using cartoon icons against us.

Why is it that when we don’t understand something we go straight for overreaction rather than further inspection? And we label it something like terrorism.

Now, these are officials tasked with protecting the population- I can see them considering whether these are dangerous. But labeling the items and the people who made them as intended faux-terrorism? Shutting down the city? Shit, it’s New England- while you’re at it why not go all the way and burn them and the witchcraft they brought into your city?

The campaign ran in 10 cities.

Boston saw them as “components consistent with improvised explosive devices.”

Seattle saw them as “obviously not suspicious.”

And the talking (air)heads who look so completely out of their element attempting to report on all of this- wow. wow. It’s like life just skipped past the real world and went straight to satire. Watching the news cover it is like watching a SNL skit.

I love the way the two guys reacted- it’s EXACTLY what was called for.

Anyway, I Just saw a lot of misinformed people totally missing the point, so I laughed. I’m on an island far away from all of this- I don’t even hear it on NPR until the next day.

I’d write some more but I need to buy some duct tape and bottled water to put in the Mooninite Protection Kits ™ i’m posting on ebay later.