Reality TV is absolutely ridiculous. I haven’t been able to stand it since its inception- “The Real World.” I just couldn’t get over the title. Let’s put a bunch of selfish attractive young people with negligible intelligence and tiny world-views together in a huge day-glo apartment where all furniture, rent and food is paid for and tape them as they go out clubbin’. I’ll choose bizzaro-world, thank you.

This story tells you just how low it’s currently sunk. “Hey guys? Wanna compete for the affections of an oddly low-voiced gal with a heck of a throwing arm and a suspiciously large adam’s apple?” “HA! Joke’s on you- she’s a HE!!!” Entertainment. My prediction is that we’re about one season away from the apocalypse.

I’ve prepared a list of new reality show ideas. Please add your ideas to the list via the comments section and we’ll do a poll next month to determine the favorite. The winner will receive a DVD and I will personally compose a letter to Endemol to pitch the idea for your show. Here goes…

• Escape From a Deadly Prison Riot: 10 contestants and 3,000 angry felons. Hijinks ensue.

• Respect Your Elders: Spend a season watching two stark white Mormon missionaries attempt to convert a housing project in Compton.
• Cat Got My Tongue: A heartwarming cast of doctors, nurses and specialists assist Roy Horn recover from a devastating tiger attack. See the softer side of Siegfried Fischbacher.
• The Real Baghdad: Contestants try to hold up against the persuasion tactics of Saddaam’s ex-secret police- all for fame and fortune.
• The Homeless Eye: Five former Enron managers pick a different famous executive each week and teach him hard skills like dumpster diving and squatting.
• I’m With Kim Chong: A cameraman and a quirky host hang out with sadistic ruthless dictator of North Korea- lots of laughs.

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