Dive into the archives.
- Every Time I Fart A Flash Goes Off
I had my first homosexual experience last friday.
I’ve always considered myself quite the deviant, but this time I raised the bar.
1. I had someone enter the back door.
2. I was on so much drugs I don’t even remember the experience.
3. Once they were finished, I paid them.
Top that, sickos.
Dont look at me. I can [...]
- Meet Ed Adkins, Adult
So I’m at a conference. An accounting conference. In hell. I’m sitting in a presentation on effective proposal programs.
Please allow me to add a touch or foreshadowing. “To know ABOUT the giggle loop is to be PART of the giggle loop.” If you don’t understand, watch more BBC.
If you’re anything close to a regular reader [...]
- When People in Hell Die They Go To Phoenix
I stepped off the plane, and into the dumbest nightmare imaginable.
This is Phoenix. It’s going to be somewhere around 732 degrees tomorrow. “oh, but it’s a dry heat.” Uh huh. That makes it better. That’s like saying, “but it’s the good herpes.”
Breezes out here are just depressing. When you grow up somewhere with actual seasons [...]
- ONE FOR THE APPLE FREAKS
What do you call a music player where you can’t find your music or even see what’s playing?
Broken?
Not if you’re Apple.Not only did they come out with the Ipod Shuffle today, but I got my hands on their next big thing- the iCrap. (click for bigger pic.)
- HOW TO BLOG BY ED ADKINS
People are always telling me, “hey Ed, you’re not funny and your blog sucks.”
And to this i reply, “how to blog? I’m flattered you’d ask me- I guess I could give you some pointers. sure, take a seat while uncle ed spits his A-game.”
But it gets annoying, constantly having to repeat those golden nuggets of [...]
- Check Out Lady From Hell V.1
You all know her. She’s the bane of my existence. Check-Out Lady From Hell.
Somehow I lose myself about 20 seconds from finishing every single trip to the grocery store by my house. I’m all done picking stuff out and start towards the checkers when I forget that unspeakable horror lurks in aisle 6… the COLFH.
And [...]
- Typical Couple Problems
So Heidi and I are at what experienced couples would call an impasse.
We don’t see eye to eye on a particular subject and I’m not sure how I feel about it. Now, I’m not calling it an argument for a few reasons. First, neither of us have intentional hurt the other’s feelings over it- [...]
- Want Another Low-Carb Bacon Shake, Dr. Atkins?
HA. Well, it seems our friend Dr. Atkins was a fatty in poor health. HA! That’s got to be the best story of 2004. Atkins dieteers are worse than some new religious converts. I half expect to see a couple of them at my door Saturday morning, asking:
“Friend, are you truely happy with your carbs? [...]
- BUT I’M ALMOST IN FIRST PLACE!
Caught the last part of an expose the other night on those kids who nearly beat the crap out of you to sell you magazine subscriptions. You know what I’m talking about. You come home and there’s one in your living room sitting in the dark. “I knew you’d show up some time, Mr. Adkins,” [...]
- New Addition
So I gave in to Heidi’s persitant requests and agreed to it. I keep on saying, “let’s wait” and “we’re just not at that point in our lives yet.” But as much as I say that I’m not ready for a new addition to the Adkins household… I caved in on Saturday and reluctantly agreed. [...]
