Although many are not privy to it, I have many close, personal relationships with many Hollywood stars. Just so that all of you who don’t hob-nob with major celebrities can catch a glimpse of how blindingly cool my life is, I’ve decided to include a snippet from a recent interview I did with one Mr. John Cusack…

ED: Thanks for stopping by, friend.

John: Yeah, sure man. No problem- my car wil be done soon, right?

ED: That brings me to an important question, Lane.

John: John

ED: It’s Ed, Lane. You forget your fans, so quickly? Just like you forget how to fix your own car, Lane?

John: I think you have me confused with someone else. My name is John Cusack.

ED: Oh I remember names just fine, LANE, just like I remember seeing you fix your Camaro in Better off Dead!

John: Ohhhhhh. OK, you mean the part I played in the movie. Thanks, it’s always nice to meet a fan. I’ve really got to be go- (trying to side step me for the door)

ED: (blocking the way) What’s the hurry, Lane- Or should I say Lloyd? Oh.. What’s wrong, tough guy- What- you gonna try a little of your kick-boxing on me? Huh? (akwardly makes dodging moves)

John: What?

ED: Or are you gonna just hold up a boom box ’til I just forget I’m even mad and fall back in love with you?

John: It was just a movie, man. Now get outta my way.

ED: Hey man, you can’t just brush me aside. I remember when you were just some wierd infra-red goggle wearing geek, man! Remember? Huh? Or back when you drew all those stupid comics? And who kept their mouth shut when you found all that money? Huh? That’s right, Gib, you’d never have made it cross-country without me.

John: I just want to get my car. It only needed an oil change.

ED: You just can’t keep track of things, can you? Lose your car, lose your girlfriend on some Tropical Island, what next, Dan?

John: Look, what do you want? Money? An autograph? Just let me out of this room!

ED: Hey, what ever you want, Ivan Alexeev!!!

John: OMG! I had no idea anyone saw that one! Man, I loved making that… wait… Tapeheads!

ED: Dude! I just watched it on DVD the other day! It was like 5 bucks at Kmart!

John: Wow! I didn’t even know it was on DVD. Wow. That was the first time I worked with that nut Tim Robbins- we were nuts. Wasn’t it shot so cool? And that video for the chicken place? OMG that cracks me up still! Jeez. Man. And what was up with my hair?

ED: And the mustache? That thing was straight outta whack.

John: Man, thanks for letting me know that movie’s still out there. We ticked off the reporters and it ended up not getting any press. Otherwise it would’ve been a hit. Man, I know it.

Ed: Just like One Crazy Summer?

John: Touche.

Ed: They can’t all be gems. Here’s your keys. Keep it real, G.

John: Peace out, Mah Brutha. (we exchange the manly pat-hug and he’s gone)

• BROWSE / IN TIMELINE
• « Happy Tree Friends
• » How Much For That Funk?

• BROWSE / IN

• RELATED / YOU MIGHT FIND THESE INTERESTING
No related posts