By any means possible. I’m serious as Ebola, here, folks. There’s a crisis that cannot be avoided- one that is threatening to destroy the very fabric of this great nation. What, you ask, poses this great threat?

Those stupid Old Navy Commercials. AARRRHRGGGG- DANGIT it makes me crazy just thinking about those things. They’re a blight on popular culture- a weeping sore infecting primetime television. And no one’s safe, either. I can avoid Friends, Hollywood Squares and JAG, but these things come out of nowhere like a pimp slap of tacky.

That new Fran Dresher one is disgusting. When I have kids they’re watching PBS or something before I ever let them get exposed to crap like this. The Morgan Fairchild Hew Haw ones actually caused vomiting and seizures for kids in Kentucky from what I hear.

I just wonder what kind of sad shape does your career have to be in before you sell your soul and dignity to these guys? Especially for the “men” on these things- It’s gotta be like having the tape of your “urinary incontinence mishap” win on America’s Funniest Home Videos. These commercials are the only thing that makes the Queer Eye guys go, “OMG That’s SO gay.”

Any way, I’m no fan of these things and I found a couple people who agree here and here. If you also feel strongly about ensuring the survival of our species, you can go here and beg them to be pulled from the air.

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