“It’s either She goes or our family falls apart Ed. You have to end it.”
“How did you even know Helen and I were spending so much time together?”
“How could I not? You talk about her all the time, and anytime someone saw you they saw her too.”
“Man, I had no idea.”
“It’s really sad she could even drive a wedge between us. Besides, who even names their DVR, anyway?”
A few weeks ago it became obvious that with as many projects as we’re involved in and as much social stuff we do, if anything was going to get done around Casa de Adkins then cable would have to go.
Believe me, we labored over the idea for quite a while. If it were a movie they’d show a montage of us in all these scenes, each time in different clothes and looking more and more disheveled, desperately trying to re-budget our time to fit TV in. The music would be really intense too- just to show how hard of a decision it was.
It the last one I’d be wearing a wrinkled dress shirt- no tie- with the sleeves rolled up and my hair would be all greasy and messy and I’d be gripping a wrinkled piece of paper, shaking it into the air in defeat. Then the camera would start spinning on my face and fade to the scene earlier today when the cable guy came to take the DVR box.
I was with her till the bitter end. I held her in my lap till the connection finally faded. She didn’t deserve to die alone.
At her last sputter of life, she managed to flash a bunch of scenes from 24, Scrubs, Huff, Rescue Me, House, Family Guy and the whole Adult Swim lineup- all the shows still worth watching.
Then it was over. The dude handed me a release form to sign and I handed her over. “So you really got rid of Cable so you could read more?”
“Yeah man. It’s kind of scary facing the future without it, though. I’m not sure what to do next…
…You think you could just hang out a bit- I don’t want to be alone.”
“Sure man.”
“I’ll get a couple beers and some books. Fiction or non?”
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COMMENTS / 6 COMMENTS
lu added these pithy words on May 12 05 at 4:33 pmOh, Ed, what a great piece of writing. Goodbye is never easy and I could really feel your struggle in letting go, but you did the right thing. The book is *always* better!
Shanti added these pithy words on May 12 05 at 7:18 pmDude - I feel your pain.
I just moved into a new apartment, and I don’t even have a freaking television!!!
So, count your blessings young Ed-i-wan. I have a feeling there will be a follow up post two weeks from now: “The Cable Man’s Back” … wherein you’ll end up making out in a dream sequence dubbed over ‘Feeling Groovy’ by Simon & Garfunkel
Becky added these pithy words on May 12 05 at 10:57 pmWow… You are a braver person than I am. Good luck with the withdrawal (and even during Sweeps month).
bonnie added these pithy words on May 13 05 at 7:29 amGreat book recommendations to the rescue–PRIME OBSESSION is a fun nonfiction book on the Riemann Hypothesis in mathematics by John Derbyshire. I’m also enjoying rereading Richard Henry Dana’s TWO YEARS BEFORE THE MAST. Good for you for going cold turkey on the “idiot box”!
Cherie added these pithy words on May 16 05 at 9:34 amI feel your pain. I don’t know what we’d do without Tivo.
Me post on Ed's blog added these pithy words on May 16 05 at 11:23 pmEd, the DVR is still in your heart, and never forget it’s final words to you… You will surely see it coming on the clouds of heaven when the final trumpet sounds. (Thats in Obidiah, but don’t look it up because then you would be doubting me and that isn’t Biblical.)
