You are amazing. At three years old, you’re already showing every sign that you’re becoming exactly the kind of person that I feel grateful knowing- The kind of person who makes you feel like your life means something because they’re around and you got to witness them.

Everything you do, you do it memorably. When you’re excited you sing songs, dance around and get everyone involved. When you’re not, you pretty much do the same thing but much louder and more forcefully. You spend most of your time in a princess dress. You speak dramatically, and you’re so goddamed cute I frequently think I’m going to pass out because I can’t handle it. But as great as those things are, I want you to always hold on to two characteristics. You keep those, and it’s all I really want for you.

I don’t care much about you making mistakes- you’re going to refuse to listen. You’re going to think many of my ideas and suggestions are crap, and most of the time you’ll have to get yourself into trouble in order to figure out the right ways of doing things. That’s natural. You are doubtlessly going to party - and party hard when you grow up. Even with only half of my genes, you’re destined to push a lot of things to the limit and then keep cranking the dial ’till it breaks off in your hand. You’ll be fine.

What I care about is this: I want you to feel good about your decisions and I want you to remain empathetic.

As your Dad, I’ll probably say things like this a lot, but while I’ve made a shit-ton of mistakes, I regret almost none. I could honestly say that I’d make nearly all of them over again, gladly. The reason for this is simple- while I’ve made many decisions that had negative results, I made them based on the limited info I had and I made them for what I still believe to be the right reasons. You can’t always know what is right to do, you just act based on how informed you are and what you believe is right. Never go against that- Don’t betray your morals (you’ll get those from your Mother). For example,

Don’t change your personality to fit in - but feel free to change things in your character in order to get along with people.

Don’t pick on people who are weak - but fee free to pick on people who aren’t.

Don’t ignore someone who needs your help - You’ll find that your best memories will come from times you gave up comfort to give it to someone else.

Don’t fool around with someone so they’ll like you - Do it because it’s fun.

Don’t ever, ever, ever let someone drive a car who’s been drinking too much - Make other, way cooler mistakes.

Secondly, I want you to remain Empathetic. People are really, really stupid. They’re mean, they rarely consider opposing viewpoints and most of them will gladly join in on either picking on people or just plain ignoring them. Remaining concerned about people’s well being is one of the most difficult things you will exercise in life. There are so many opportunities and good reasons to hate; don’t let it erode your responsibility to care about people.

In the three years I’ve know you, I’ve constantly been amazed by how deeply you care about people. If you get the slightest sense that someone is hurt- either physically or emotionally- you rush to help. You could be in the middle of throwing a colossal fit, crying and stomping and employing every fiber of your body with the expressed purpose of infuriating your mother- but if for a moment she seems to be hurt by your actions you will stop immediately and console her. That’s powerful empathy. You care about everyone. There’s a cut on my hand that you’ve taken the time to inspect almost daily since it happened. I love you, and that’s part of why.

Happy Birthday, Paige. Raising you has been the hardest and most rewarding thing I’ve ever done and I wish it would last forever. Always strive for those two main things and it’ll cover most everything I hope for in your life.

*OK, that “wish it would last forever” thing is bullshit- when you’re 18, if you’re not in college you’re out on your ass. You can visit though- because I love you.

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