Want Fries With Your Job?
In honor of the term “McJob” making it’s official entry into our language, I have decided to begin a list of McJobs I’ve had. A McJob is “a low-paying job that requires little skill and provides little opportunity for advancement.” I got my first full-time McJob at 14. I looked older than I was; so consequently I was 16 for 3 consecutive years. Work was seasonal, too, and I usually had two or three jobs at a time. Mostly (best I could remember) in chronological order, here’s what I have so far:
- Sign Boat: I lived at the beach. My first job was changing the sign on one of those boats that go by saying stuff like, “Eat at Joes.” I was 13.
- Dishwasher: Crazy all-nite diner. I was 14 and the cooks used to beat me up.
- Bus Boy: Same place.
- Clothing Store: Union Bay. I lasted about two weeks before I thought I’d puke. Still 14.
- Ice Cream Shop: Fired and told never to work around food again.
- Arcade: It was fun for a while, cuz it was kind of “the hangout” for locals. Eventually the mix of every game at once drove me insane.
- Four Star French Restaurant: Bus Boy. Didn’t get beat up anymore.
- Art Gallery: Worked there a long time.
- Flea Market: Ran a booth for a Jem/Jewelry store.
- Night Club: Started at 15 checking coats, moved to bar-back. It was built over a gay bar so there’s many a funny story involving “Drag Karaoke.”
- Comic Book Shop: It was part-time so I worked for credit. Ultimate geek job, I got like $100 worth of comics a week.
- Landscaper: Lots and lots of digging. I liked it a lot cuz I was an angry kid and it gave me a chance to work out my aggression.
- House Painter: Lack of coordination can be very expensive. I once spilled 3 gallons of oil-based stain down the roof of a condo. And down the side. And all over the wooden patio below. Lots of fun stories there.
- Recycling Plant: Moved up very quickly on account of literacy. Started sorting plastic on a conveyor belt, went to shoveling plastic bits by the ton, and eventually made it to knob-twister for a giant machine. Blew up a grinder the size of my house.
- Warehouse: Picker, sorter, truck loader. I actually enjoyed that one.
- Sales: Like any good sales job, it was for some fraud of a start-up company. I was 18 by then.
- Hyatt: Answering Phones and Front Desk. Met a bunch of famous people and was actually offered a radio spot.
- Concrete Painter: Long story.
- Pizza Maker: I liked that one.
- Director of Events: That was college. Got to take Jimmy Fallon to an all-nite diner and talk about the Simpsons. Also met a slew of other cool peeps.
- Intern to become a Minister: Not a McJob but it does really round it all off, doesn’t it?
Now I’ve sold out to the man and wear a suit to work. But I look back at all my McJobs with fondness. Not many people get to experience what I have- there’s so many cool stories it’ll fuel posts for a long time. Have you had a McJob? What was it? What was cool/uncool about it?
November 14th, 2003 at 3:53 pm
Man that’s a lot of jobs. While I would consider my last real job before the current one a McJob, I don’t think everyone would. It was as a bank manager. Paid well, but boring and people hate you. At least I got to do the thing where you walk out and tell your manager to take a hike. That was a great feeling.
November 14th, 2003 at 5:20 pm
That’s the mother of all McJobs. It’s like a Big MacJob. Or a Quarter Pounder with cheese.
November 16th, 2003 at 11:14 am
ED, great job, however I think you left out some details. When you were young, say 25 (age 5)you thought sports was a job, except for the big L.
You were a member of the Tatnall swim team. At age 5 you were in your first swim meet. Off the boards and you were half a pool length ahead. At 3/4 length you stopped, and stood in the pool, refused to finish and cried. Why you didn’t finish and then cry is beyond me; at least you would have won.
To finish the “sign-boat” story. If you remember, the ships captain would warn the life guards of shark in the area. At the time you where about 2000 yards out in the ocean, your ship was “turning-to”, a wave hit the ship and you smashed your face on the wind-shield. With a bleeding face, you put a quarter in your mouth to call me and swam ashore. without knowing what was below the surface, was that motivation or persistence?
You forgot to tell everyone about the commercial size carton of eggs you preceeded to totally destroy. More later.
November 17th, 2003 at 9:12 am
Where is that “block IPs button…”
November 17th, 2003 at 1:26 pm
thought this was supposed to be about your jobs and not your incredible athletic ability? any way, where’s the fruit bowl on your list?
November 17th, 2003 at 1:34 pm
Oh yeah- food prep for a fruit & yogurt place. I hated that job- that guy was a total fruit-nazi. Once he made my come in even though I told him I had a temperature of 103. Then when in my delirium I neglected to clean a cutting board, he literally to photos of it to blackmail me with later.
Oh, the sports thing. You know how fun it is to embarrass me.